I am heartsore. My first friend in this lifestyle, my best friend in kink is gone. My beloved pink-pantied blogger, my sweet Rider is no more.
No, the man who was Clive is not dead. In a way, it’s worse than death. I know he lives, but that the walls are very firmly up and we may never speak again.
This past weekend, his wife discovered his blog. I can somewhat imagine the nightmare he’s going through, because it’s always been one of mine, that someone in my family would discover what I do here. Poor Clive had no choice to disappear, his blogging sites deleted as well as his email. He contacted a couple of close friends here to let us know what happened. When I tried to respond, the email bounced.
I had the great privilege to know him in vanilla life and we were friends on Facebook. I contacted him via FB Messenger, just to let him know that I understood and would always be there for him. We had passed several messages that way before and I had a reasonable expectation of privacy in doing so.
The next day I was horrified and sick to my stomach when he let me know that his wife had read my message in the middle of the night and that I could never contact him again. FB friendship deleted, likely as much for my safety as his. I am devastated for him and the work that he has ahead of him to salvage his marriage and soldier on without his alter ego. And I am devastated for me that I have lost him forever.
I have so many pictures, so many memories we shared…
I wish him all the best, that he can get through this. He will always be in my thoughts and my prayers.
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